It sucks to be in like!

You ever  liked someone but they don't actually like you, just a version of you that they have in their head? I am still trying to figure it out. Then they say things like. "I really like you, but I don't like you like that"...huh, what? What do you mean you do not like me like that?

To me you either like someone or you don't. People need to stop trying to enjoy the best of both worlds.

Emotions is a serious thing and should not be used or taken for granted.

The last couple weeks of my life has been crazy, fun and  full of sleepless nights.

 I love working part-time and all but I really do miss working full time. As the saying goes you never really miss the well till the well run dry.

I complain all the time about how the kids drive me crazy.. yada-yada-yada, but as I sit here at home I miss the noise and the constant being on my feet, never getting a chance to breathe, and grabbing snippets of bites on the go.

I MISS the craziness!

What Is A Good Teacher?

 I look back at all the years I spent in school achieving an education and wonder after it was all said and done, did the teachers really helped me obtain that education that I needed? I was an A and A+ student even got skipped a grade all the way through to the beginning of High School. That was when everything went downhill...Some teachers sure have a way to make one feel so dunce and  that one cannot and will not amount to anything in life.

In primary school (Elementary School) I felt like the teachers really did care about my well-being both academically and personally. They took the time to ensure that I understood what I was learning and when I came in sad and could not concentrate, they were there to encourage. The same cannot be said about my experiences  in High School. Maybe because most of the teachers was not that much older, some still in their teens.  Nonetheless you can still be an effective teacher no matter your age if you really LOVE what you do!

I was sent to school to get an Education, to learn, to make sometime out of my life. It was the teachers job to teach  me the lessons...First year in High School was not so bad, even though I had not placed into the first twenty students out of forty at school. However, I had one particular teacher from form 1 who took no nonsense from the kids.  If something was taught It was expected that you understood it right away.
The only time they showed concerned was when something you did offended or embarrassed them. In form 2,  same teacher made sure you knew who the boss was. For some reason there was always a target on my back. There's something  about being poor that singles you out somehow. It was almost an insult to be poor.


I've always wondered how far beyond my limits could I have been pushed? How much more expectations could I have surpassed, If my teachers were really teachers, if they they loved what they did, if they could have spotted the troubles within, if they weren't so biased?!

I went looking at and found the following on the World Wide Web. After reading it, it fitted everything I was looking for in My Teachers and any Teacher for that matter.





QUALITIES OF A GOOD TEACHER   Empathy
You have the ability to bond with your students, to understand and resonate with their feelings and emotions. To communicate on their level. To be compassionate with them when they are down and to celebrate with them when they are up.

Positive Mental Attitude
You are able to think more on the positive and a little less on the negative. To keep a smile on your face when things get tough. To see the bright side of things. To seek to find the positives in every negative situation. To be philosophical.

Open to Change
You are able to acknowledge that the only real constant in life is change. You know there is a place for tradition but there is also a place for new ways, new ideas, new systems, and new approaches. You don't put obstacles in your way by being blinkered and are always open and willing to listen to others' ideas.

Role Model
You are the window through which many young people will see their future. Be a fine role model.

Creative
You are able to motivate your students by using creative and inspirational methods of teaching. You are different in your approach and that makes you stand out from the crowd. Hence the reason why students enjoy your classes and seek you out for new ideas.

Sense of Humour
You know that a great sense of humour reduces barriers and lightens the atmosphere especially during heavy periods. An ability to make your students laugh will carry you far and gain you more respect. It also increases your popularity.

Presentation Skills
You know that your students are visual, auditory or kinaesthetic learners. You are adept at creating presentation styles for all three. Your body language is your main communicator and you keep it positive at all times. Like a great orator you are passionate when you speak. But at the same time you know that discussion and not lecturing stimulates greater feedback.

Calmness
You know that the aggression, negative attitudes and behaviours that you see in some of your students have a root cause. You know that they are really scared young people who have come through some bad experiences in life. This keeps you calm and in control of you, of them and the situation. You are good at helping your students de-stress.

Respectful
You know that no one is more important in the world than anyone else. You know that everyone has a place in the world. You respect your peers and your students. Having that respect for others gets you the respect back from others.

Inspirational
You know that you can change a young person's life by helping them to realise their potential, helping them to grow, helping them to find their talents, skills and abilities.
Passion
You are passionate about what you do. Teaching young people is your true vocation in life. Your purpose in life is to make a difference.

Willing to Learn
You are willing to learn from other teachers AND your students. Although knowledgeable in your subject you know that you never stop learning.

For me being a good teacher all boils down to how much that teacher loves what they  do and the distance they  are willing to go to make a Student become the best they can without making them feel like a failure.

whole thing. My life went from normal and routine and beautiful to a complete mess,

Can’t seem to get a decent chunk of alone time these days to even check in with all you lovely blogospherers.  And while I so want to tell you all about how crazy my life has gotten between work and these major disasters in my life (what?!) I'll save it for another time. Nonetheless. Here, Let me tell you  what I've learnt so far in all these craziness.

I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. –Age27
I've learned....That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
I've learned....That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.
I've learned....That money doesn't buy class.
I've learned....That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular

The whirlwind that is called my life.

My life...where do I begin.

Random Things I found while reading this book "Life Is Fine"

Not a book I would read normally, but it happen to be hanging where I was sitting, left there by my god-daughter. It was a book written for teenagers. The book was  basically about  a teenagers love/hate relationship with life and the purpose she found after encountering her 70 something  year old  English sub teacher who she  had a crush on.... "Talk about students crushing on teachers!"...I had my fair amount of crushing on teachers in high school. (It did not help that some of the teachers were only a few years younger than me - practically the same age as myself)

While passing the wee hours of the morning away in reading this book " Life is Fine"...I found some random things that caught my eyes

• " I hate to act on demand " ... ( So applies to me, please do not tell to smile if you do not see one on my face)

• "The city has a way of being so public it's private..." (Tell me again)

• "The feeling of bliss can disappear, and what is left is your heart, which contains true feelings." ( True True)

• "I hit the snooze button seven times. The day was beginning without me but I did not care."

• "There was a deep, silken quality to his voice, crawling inside each word, each syllable."

• "A woman is like a flower. Everyone's interested in her when she is young and perky, but when she's old and brittle, one touch and the petals fall, no one bothers to call, send a message...."

• "There are some people who are like puddles upon water. Their impression vanishes in moments. Then there are those who linger."( And you are one of them ,smiling.)

• "Life offers few opportunity to choose exactly what you want.You might as well take opportunity  when the chance presents itself."

• " He's useless. Do you know how many times I've been to his office? I'm on frequent flyer miles."

• "There was a joke to all of this, and there I was: the punchline."

• " You think my heart is confused now? Before you, I was in  love with an orangutan."

• "It was raining hard and I became one more unhappy fish in the city's aquarium of life."

• "AS freezing persons recollect the snow-/ first- Chill-then Stupor- then the letting go."

• "If you let your dreams die, life becomes monotonous. Life becomes just one long string of Mondays , Tuesdays, Wednesdays and  ___." (and WTF's)

• " What I like about cornflakes is that they don't crackle. They just lie there." ( lmbo)

• "Some say love is like a light switch: It goes on and off. However, I believe that love is much more nuanced. Love is a clock. When you are in half love, it's six straight up.If you are not in love, it's quarter to three.When he starts to grow on you it's a little past nine."

• "Everyone has weakness and doubts. It's easy to put up a brave front when you know there will be a happy ending."

• "I closed my eyes and smiled at the world. Strangely it now smelled of possibilities."

 So there you have it a little humor and food for thought from my reading. Hope you enjoyed!

One thing I have wished for in life is to be truly happy. To wake up each day with a smile on  my face and just enjoy my existence.

As the saying goes life is what you make it whether intentionally or unintentionally.

I don't remember ever been truly happy but the times that I was happy I treasured those to the max.

Mango

Mango ripe

mango sweet

mango sitting way up in the tree.

Yellow ones , red ones, pink cheek ones,

green and orange ones.

Starchy and palwee,

lounge mango, thinie,

grafted , Julie and belly buff.

Climb the tree, get a shoe

or grab a stick, touch one with it

and it'll fall to your feet.

How many of them can you eat?

They swing and they sway

kissing each other with the dancing wind.

The rains will come and they will drop,

so don't worry if you don't know

 how to pelt a stone as the saying goes.

Mango stew, mango juice, mango chutney,

put 'em in salad put 'em on the grill,

puree them with the blender if you want a smoothie.

Climb the tree and grab a branch

but be sure to look for the fiery ants,

or get up there from an adjacent tree

and if you fall don't  worry...

it wont be no pain, for soon sweet juices

will be flowing through your veins.

So grab a mango from any tree and

come join me under this tree.

Peel them or roll them till the flesh soften

then make a nice little hole and suck

the juices out and when you have reached

the seed and nothings left,

you can still sucked the seed dry till you hear

it yell for help. When you have gone

and can't get it no more

and then you remember all the spoils

on the floor

it'll break you heart

but don't you worry

there's still opportunity to come back  with me

under this mango tree .

Death of A Dragonfly

Is it wrong to kill an insect? Not just a little mosquito or an ant, but a big insect like a Dragon fly?

I found a Dragon fly inside my house and  what  did I do ? Well, I killed it.

Yes I did. I found the guy hiding besides the toaster. Not a little one but a good sized one.  I’ve always wanted to catch one of them and I had the opportunity.  I grabbed the Clorox clean-up and sprayed it.  He was till flying around so I got the ant  spray and that did him in. After a while he laid there-frozen in the position of he last breathe.

The next morning I picked him up and placed him in a box, just to make sure he was dead and would not fly away. I had plans for him after his death, I could not risk it. It was not a premeditated murder. I really wanted him to go outside , but I did not want  him fly on me or something.

  I took this time to take some pictures with him… in the back of my mind I was feeling really guilty… but greed- greed for a few photos took first precedence. boy I tell you…these Seven deadly sins are no joke.

Garden Woes

I was closing the window for the night when something caught my eye, I told myself no I can’t be seeing what I thought I saw, so I closed the window and retired for the night.

The next morning I opened the window and saw the whole top of my tomato plants gone. First reaction… OMG…Second Reaction….WTH…Third reaction… well, I ran outside to take a closer look. I found these greens worms with a horn at their tails, fastly chewing off the leaves. The entire top of the tomato plants was gone.

It was not the first time I had seen those worms, just was not expecting them on my plants. Upon research I found out they were know as the hornworm ….I guess because of the little horn-like feature on their backs, which will later become moths. I grabbed my camera and snapped away, both weirded-out and intrigued at the same time. The weirdest thing about this worm is the white rice like features on its back.

 

(Tomato hornworm larvae are also parasitized by a number of insects. One of the most common is a small braconid wasp, Cotesia congregatus. Larvae that hatch from wasp eggs laid on the hornworm feed on the inside of the hornworm until the wasp is ready to pupate. The cocoons appear as white projections protruding from the hornworms body. If such projections are observed, the hornworms should be left in the garden to conserve the beneficial parasitoids. The wasps will kill the hornworms when they emerge from the cocoons and will seek out other hornworms to parasitize. Sourced from: http://www.vegedge.umn.edu/vegpest/hornworm.htm )

I later found another kind of worm and two And theses two red mounds on the underside of a leaf … This worm is known as Saddle back caterpillar. I was just as amazed and weirded-out at the same time. Before researching, I was beginning to think my garden was mutating and being invaded by Aliens. It was just too weird!

Sigh.....*

  So I'm not sitting here trying to fall asleep. Was editing a draft from the 6th .
 The house is quiet except for the humming of the refrigerator and the tap- pi- ti -tap of the keyboard. It was a long day today which resulted in a headache.

Journey to a New Life, an Orchid.

I have taken up the task of restoring an orchid to it's full capacity at life. Every week I would pass by that office and look at it's frailness and wonder, oh why can't I just take it!

I love Orchids, I love them very much. I have never kept any of my own, only given to others and visited the ones at the store and the Botanical Garden.

However this pass Saturday, I was given the orchid to revitalize it. Yes!...Oh what joy that filled my soul! No need to bore u with the history of the orchid, lets just say it was given to someone couple years ago. It was a very pretty, vibrant and beautiful flower . They marveled at it's beauty through the end of it's flowering cycle but left it alone to wander trough to it's next flowering cycle.

Some Ochids has different flowering periods. Once a year, every two years and so on... I think this one flower every two years. It's a long wait to see it's beauty again...sigh...hopefully by spring it should be in bloom.

August 24th...I repotted the Orchid into a new Pot and added some plant food.

Agust  25th...It's looking a whole lot healthier

Flower Stalk    7 1/2 inches tall

Smallest Leaf  1 1/2 inches wide

Biggest  Leaf   3 1/4 iches wide

I’ve got this sweet feeling.

“I’ve got the taste for some sweet Caribbean fruits- sun ripened and freshly picked off the trees.”

This is the phrase I so often hear from myself  and many others who have traveled from the their Caribbean homeland to come abroad. I’m sitting here now reminiscing on some goods times with my sweet fruits.

One must take into consideration what is been given up when we set out for the so-call  “greener pastures.” I now have to resort to buying mangoes from Wal-Mart, Kroger, Publix or the farmers market- mangoes which mainly comes from Haiti or Mexico. The cost is another thing, almost two dollars($2) for one single mango, which, does not do justice for the taste you are to receive. My salivary glands shudder at the irony as it remembers the robust and wonderful flavor and succulent flesh and sweet juices it used to know.

Our yard growing up, consisted of:  Starch Mangoes, West Indian Cherries, Passion fruit, Limes, Damsel (goose berries) ,Coconut trees , Breadfruit, Bananas, Plums, Golden apples , Pineapple and French cashews to name a few. Whatever was not at our yard was sure to but found in someone  else's. An occasional run trough a neighbors' property  would obtain you the desired fruit of choice that was not found in your yard. You just had to pray not to get caught if you did not ask permission to enter- which was always the case.

The fruit which stands out the most to me is the sapodilla , aka, (nase berry). I loved that fruit.  It almost resembles a kiwi, not as hairy on the outside and contains some shinny black flat almond shaped seeds on the insides. If not picked ripened or half ripe on the tree , one had to endure the agonizing wait to plunge into it’s sweetness. The process of self-ripening this fruit is quite interesting. You picked the green ones and scrubbed all the outsides. Then you'd find a nice little cardboard box lay some lemon grass leaves or straw ( not literal straw) in there , close the box  then return couple days later to sweet heaven.

Things That's makes me smile.

It's so funny how at times the simpliest of things will make me smile, or the weirdest of things  or no reason at all. I love smiling. it does good to my soul.


The bigest thing that always puts a smile on my face is that happy memory I had with a particular person.  I can sit all day and smile at that memory...Like I have nothing better to do!....lol ( laughing out loud).... here's a list in no specific order of things that makes me Smile :))

• Butterflies
• The Ocean
• Dolphins
• Flowers
• Love
• Friends
• The Weekends
• Sabbaths
• Holidays
• Christmas
• Recieving snail-mail
• Photography
• Journaling
• Painting
• Embroidering
• Cooking
• Listening to music
• Singing (in the shower)
• Reading out loud
• Poetry
• Helping others
• Talking to people
• Gardening
• Traveling
• Sunrises
• Sunsets
• The forest
• YOU
• Me
• God
• Family

I go could on  and on  about things that makes me smile, but that'll have to do for now. (((Smiling)))

Love, lies and Relationships

I remember my first love like it was yesterday. I met him  one morning when I was Sixteen . I thought he was the most handsome thing around. Tall, dark and handsome he sure was. He had the most gorgeous pink lips I had ever seen and the dreamiest eyes ever. It did not help that he was popular either.

 What drew me to this character, I still don't know to this day. Maybe it was the rebel in me trying to go against what my parents said, "No boyfriends."  Why he choose to make me his next target , I'm sure he knew exactly what he was doing. I thought I was in love with him... I fell(as some would say) so hard for this guy, he consumed my every thought, every breath I breathe was for him. I'd sneak away just to see him, to have him hug me, kiss and caress me. This guy was an athlete..a very good one at that. I wished someone would have warned me about guys like that. I guess it does not matter if you're a male pro athlete, amateur athlete or a pro in any sport. All men alike in those fields are the same-PLAYERS!!!

The things you do for a guy when u think u so in love with him. Sneak out the house pretending you going somewhere else , phone calls when the parents wasn't around, spending your last penny on his birthday and valentines. Because why? because you LOVED him so much! 

I don't understand this relationship thing. Two person(supposedly) liking eacth other, why lie?... The lie started in this relationship when this girl came up to me and said, "leave their man alone." I was like, "your man?", "Girl what you talking about, he's my boyfriend." This resulted in some church sisters telling my dad that I was going to get beat for another girls man, since those church sisters attended the same school as her. Then another girl in a different school from myself and the first girl had the same action --wanting to beat me for their man. Innocent me! As far as I knew, I was the only one. Then there was the third girl, same school as the second...same stupid story. At this point I was like, what the heck...so confrontation started. Of course like all typical guys he denied the extra three relationships. On passing by his house you'd see one or the other. But he still denied it. Talking about , oh  it's my sister's friend ,,,yea I guess his sister  had organs to get girls prego. That did it. I had had enough. Why bother put your love in someone when they do not give a crap about you.

I ask myself everyday,what is it that possesses guys to act the way and do the things they do? Do people realise how much they hurt each other, how much they ruins one's outlook on things after? Is it that we just wake up each day and a brilliant  idea hit us over the  head " I'm going to ruin someones heart today?"
I still remember my First Love like it was yesterday, LOVE...LIES...&...RELATIONSHIPS.

Back to Blogging

I was reminded yesterday that I was a blogger, a very in-active blogger at that. It has been quite some time since I've blogged anything, due to having no time and the mis-management of it.


I am back now, so y'all can get " All Up In My World". Some may not like my world, my crazy world, but it is I who resides there, so if you pay a visit and do not like it, you can take the magic carpet ride out.


Yesterday marked the 3rd day of the month. Boy, oh how time flies. It was just yesterday the year started, now we're going to be halfway through. Let's recap my year so far.


January: New year, same old me. Everyone makes resolution, but not I. Why make any if life throws whatever it wants at you. I believe in going with the flow. Some may however beg to differ! I went up North , met a few friends and the sis. Awesome! I visited Bubba Run in Manhattan for a mini Reunion, the food was ok, but it was just great catching up with Elementary School friends.


February: Was a pleasant month. It was a pleasant relief to finally have a decent amount of snow in the ATL. White everywhere. I was in heaven! Yes sweet heaven. I watched as the first flake drifted in to the accumulations as the hrs passed on and night settled in. I looked on, heart aching, as I did not walk with my camera. My Mind told me that morning but I did not listen. Nonetheless by nightfall, I had a cam, but still disappointed that I did not capture the early evening snowfall. later that night a friend and I went outside building snow man and having snow fights- what a blast! Morning came and the saga started . I bundled up real tight and headed out to catch the sunset and the early morn snow. Good thing I did. later that day the snow started to disappear. just as it came in, it was gone. Gone as if it had never happened.


March: I started officially volunteering at the Botanical Garden. Can we say "Oh happy day." After two years of trying I was finally in, plants galour. I got to work with he woodland team helping out in the Southern Seasons Garden. We planted , weeded , mulched and had a good ole time. My cam was at hand with me every week capturing the Garden as it changed week after week. It was quite amazing how fast it changed. You had to be there every week to see it at that point, because it never stayed the same.

April: My b-day month. Went out to dinner with a few friends. Had some good laughs and the hardest of times deciding where to have dinner. Dinner was great ( Settled on Parker's French Bistro). Dessert was at the Chocolate Bar( great place for dessert and cocktail if you are a drinker). Let's not talk about the eye candy there...lol...three women one eye candy!


May: By now, the spring flowers at the Botanical Garden was dwindling done, the tree's were greener and full with leaves. I took my co-worker out for a mother's day / birthday tours of the garden. ( so did not go as planned) Due to misinformation, we only got to see on garden. After which I took her out for dessert (warm fudge brownie with vanilla ice-cream with sprig of mint and cherry on top. All in all it was a wonderful day, except for my pretty little toes with were in pain from being in heels all day.


June: June was GC( General Conference) Month. Thousand of Sabbath keepers headed to the City of Atlanta ,Georgia Dome, to find long time friends and family and to find out the newly elected team to carry on for the next five Years. I only attended the two Sabbaths because I did not feel like dealing with the over 60 thousand people there. I saw a few peeps from up North -- later to find out on facebook, that there was a whole lot more. June was also the month for Weddings. So many people got married. I was lucky to be one of the photographer for a couple's wedding. It was crazy and fun at the same time. I learnt five main things,


1. I need to conquer my shyness in order to be the top notch photographer I will become( Eventually)
2. Renting camera equipment is not cheap
3. Wedding really do not start on time..lol
4. Buying materials to enhance your performance is not cheap either
5. Being a photographer is a lot ,lot and a whole lot of work.

























July:I guess July was not spectacular. I can't really remember what happened in this month. oh wait, it was the month I had to put the Garden volunteering on hold. It sadden me so much to know I was not going to see the garden for while. I missed the blooming of the giant Agave plant...aww... This plant flower once in fifteen years then dies.


August: Only four days into the month and it seems like this month is going to be a mixed emotion month. Already it has started with drama. Who knew that putting a "lol" at the end of a comment on facebook with cause someone's blood to boil.


Yes folks, there you have it a recap of my year so far. Stayed tuned and be sure to get " All Up In My World".